An examination of the opening lines of a few of the books I’ve read recently:
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“Tripping our asses off in the cemetery is Silas’s idea.” –Ghost Eaters by Clay McLeod Chapman
“Have you ever wondered how long it takes to dig a grave?” Something in the Water by Catherine Steadman
“Don’t take this personally, but I don’t like you very much.” Slender Man, no credited author
“Regina found Constance sprawled on the grass, her thick, graying hair tangled with purple thistles.” They Drown Our Daughters by Katrina Monroe
“Maybe the machine could see the words she never spoke.” Baby Teeth by Zoje Stage
“Four months to the day he first encountered the boy at Walmart, the last of Phil Pendleton’s teeth fell out.” Sour Candy by Kealan Patrick Burke
“The sight of this old train car saddens me, though I cannot quite articulate why.” Leech by Hiron Ennes
“My heart is dark passage, lined with ranks of gleaming jars.” Little Eve by Catriona Ward
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I own a lot of books, more than fit on my bookshelves in the conventional way, so the opening lines of the above novels, most of which I’ve reviewed on this site, represent one stack of books that sits on the shelf in front a row of neatly arranged books. They were stacked more or less randomly, but they all have one thing in common: they have great first lines.
I can group these opening lines together based on similarities.
The opening lines from Slender Man and Something in the Water are directed at the reader, or at least, they seem to be. The opener from Ghost Eaters follows a similar style, almost as if it’s answering a question the reader asked that kicks off the story. All three stories are written in first person, which fits this kind of opener, and makes the reader part of the story immediately. The opening line of Slender Man was especially gripping, feeling like the opening line of The Number 23, the mysterious book at the heart of the movie of the same name.
The lines from Baby Teeth and They Drown Our Daughters are perhaps the weakest examples of good opening lines. They present the story’s characters in a more quiet way, though the use of the word “maybe” in Baby Teeth‘s opening line is a little more intriguing, and its paragraph’s repetition of the word propels the reader almost before they know it. However, these stories’ opening paragraphs are constructed more solidly than what you might call “a hook.”
The lines of Leech and Little Eve seem to me to be going for something more artistic or poetic, trying to interest the reader through use of language or metaphor. These days, that kind of line feels like a risk. But I think that it’s a risk that pays off. After all, words are our art and a story can and should be more than the plot points and characterizations.
Of all these opening lines, that of Sour Candy feels the most “classic” to me in a way that’s hard to define. As an in media res line, it grabs the reader while giving them so much information and even saving the beef for the end, as a writing instructor of mine used to say. We know that the story takes place over the course of four months (at least to get us back to this point) during “modern” times, and we know the main character is Phil and his arc hinges on meeting another character, the mysterious, nameless boy. Finally, the sentence’s construction saves the punch of Phil losing all his teeth until the end of the sentence. It seems like the classic opener to a horror story.
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I’ve been thinking about opening lines a lot recently because I started writing a new story this week. When I say started, I mean I sat down at my computer and started writing out the story, not notes in my notebook.
Often, it’s hard for me to start something because I am a perfectionist and therefore a procrastinator. But perfect is the enemy of done, so I just started writing and concentrated on the story, rather than driving myself crazy by trying to write the perfect opening line.
I love reading liner notes on albums and it’s something I truly miss in an age when most of my music is consumed digitally. But one of the most impactful notes to me, as a writer, was on Meteora by Linkin Park, for the song “Somewhere I Belong.” The note indicated that Mike Shinoda and Chester Bennington wrote over thirty different versions of the chorus before settling on the one that got recorded, a week after the rest of the album was finished.
I write my notes non-sequentially. Outside of character notes, location notes, etc. I often skip around, writing snippets of scenes or chapter ideas for whatever occurs to me in whatever order it happens to come to me in. However, when I write on my computer, I do so sequentially, starting with Chapter 1, page one.
But that doesn’t mean I am done with something once I’ve written it down. So I’ll keep working at and playing with opening lines. I hope, one day, to write a great opening line that someone knows by heart.
What makes an opening line memorable for you? Do you have a favorite?
The Chimerical Dark 