My 100th post

It was only recently that I noticed, “Hey, I’ve got almost one hundred posts. That’s kind of cool.”

I think this kind of highlights for me why I’ve always felt kind of weird writing a blog: I don’t have what I think of as a Social Media Personality.

It’s hard to define, but I think it’s a balance of extraversion and the ability to think of yourself as a business. I mean, yeah, I look at the analytics, and I appreciate those of you who follow and like every post (I’m looking at you, DirtySciFiBuddha), but I’ve never stopped to think, “Well, this kind of post got this many likes, this other kind only got this many.”

I’ve tried to do two things: be consistent with my posts (I say, as I’m writing it a day late, according to my own timeline) and set a schedule of topics that I can consistently have thoughts and opinions on in order to maintain output. I’m always reading and watching something, so those are easy; posting about my WIP has also had an interesting psychological effect of motivating production so that I don’t have to post that I’ve made no progress; but my writing about writing is hard to keep up with because, again, I feel a little awkward and silly writing a blog.

It’s also weird to think that I’ve reached this milestone through, not necessarily a plan, but just consistent effort. One of my favorite snippets of conversation between me and my partner:

Me: I can’t believe I’m turning 35. I have no idea how this happened.

K: Well. I guess you just kept living.

But that’s what it’s like to write a story: you just keep going, one word at a time, and you eventually sit back and say, “Well, that’s it, then.” Then, you start work on another story.

So, it’s been something like 8 months since I was informed that Clean Freak would no longer be available from Siren’s Call. I haven’t finished a new story (but I’m closer than I’ve been in 7 years). I haven’t re-sold Clean Freak, because I haven’t tried; I spent nearly 5 years waiting on it to get republished, during which time I had a block about starting anything new. I’ve published a couple stories, but nothing to critical acclaim, which is also something I don’t feel like I need any longer.

I don’t feel like I need any of it any longer. I’ve been able to make a good enough life for myself that I don’t necessarily feel the drive that I once did, that writing is my only ticket to happiness and financial security. The past 8 months have been trying to find what’s left.

And I’ve decided that I’m still someone who wants to write good stories. And I want people to be able to read those stories. That’s pretty much it.

-/-

On a separate note, I’m going to try to write ahead a bit and see if I can figure out how to schedule a future post because I will be out of town riding my bike around Northern Michigan for about 8 days. If you see new posts, awesome. If this is the most recent post and it’s August 4 or later, that’s the reason. But I’ll be back at it when I’m back in town.